Love Your Neighbor As Yourself — Not More Than Yourself
Funny how God doesn’t always speak through thunder or vision, but sometimes through the simplest things, or the quiet voice of a friend, as it was in my case.
Recently, during a conversation, I was reminded that the command is to “Love your neighbor as you love yourself,” not more than yourself, and it really stuck with me because I needed that reminder.
You see, we talk a lot about loving people well, but not enough about what happens when we forget to love ourselves in the process, and that conversation reminded me that even Scripture calls for balance, and it’s a lesson worth remembering.
For those of us who naturally thrive on empathy, giving comes easy, as we pour ourselves into others physically, financially, emotionally, and otherwise, because it feels right, even noble, and because that’s how we know to live selflessly, and we find meaning in being there for others.
But the truth is, empathy without balance can become self-neglect, and when all you know how to do is give, you eventually forget that you, too, are worthy of receiving.
That’s why the commandment says to love your neighbor “as yourself” and not “more than yourself,” because it assumes that you already know how to love yourself, that you understand what it means to care, nurture, and show tenderness toward your own soul, and because loving others flows best from that place of fullness, not depletion.
If, like me, you find fulfillment in showing up for people, this might be your cue to pause and ask yourself: Do I give myself the same love, care, and grace I give so freely to others? Because when you don’t, you risk burning out on empathy and begin to resent yourself for the very love you once gave so freely and with joy.
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is step back and set boundaries that protect your peace, and take time to be alone with your thoughts, because isolation isn’t punishment but reflection. It helps you reconnect with yourself, refill your emotional tank, and see clearly where you may have been loving others at the expense of yourself.
Additionally, when you stop loving and taking care of yourself as you ought to, you often make space, by nature, for people who have no intention of loving or taking care of you, and that, my friend, really hurts, because they end up draining your energy, so protect your energy.
The beauty of God’s command is in its balance.
Loving your neighbor as yourself means you are not excluded from the circle of love because you are a part of it. It is not selfish to refill your own cup, for it is obedience to the principle that balance is godly, and neglecting yourself does not make you holier or more selfless; it only makes you emptier.
So take this as your reminder to fill your own cup, rest, heal, and forgive yourself, understanding that self-love is not vanity or pride, but stewardship, and feed your spirit the same tenderness you feed others, because when you love yourself rightly, you love others better.
